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  <a href="/blog/blog/5358/parts-is-parts">Parts is parts</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">I have an item in my new "Daily Diary" (Wow, those words are very similar.  Coincidence?)... that says "blog about something."  So here I am, blogging.<br><br>
This Diary, incidentally, is something that my brother suggested.  He's a very organized kinda guy.  Unlike me in that way.  In fact, in the conversation with him about it, I got a little creeped out at how his energy started rising as he spoke about it, and I started to cringe at the thought of making lists of things and crossing them off.  "I'm not a 'list' kind of guy," I told myself.  Then I realized that I use lists all the time at work now, of my own accord, and it's really simplified my life. Sign of getting older, I guess. So anyway, my wife bought me the same book my brother has.  She's all in favor of it, incidentally.  And now, day one, I'm crossing an item off the list.<br><br>
The book is a very boring-looking book BTW -- I really need to spice it up with a creative cover or something.  Wait.  Let me write that down...<br><br>
I just crossed another item off, too.  Selling an item on craigslist.  Hopefully it will more than pay for the Diary.  $30 seemed awfully steep.<br><br>
But none of this is what I wanted to blog about.  I wanted to blog about my daughter, Mia.  She's six.<br><br>
I sent her to the bathroom to pee last night, and then brush her teeth.  I walked in on her to prepare the toothbrush and stuff. She was standing there in front of the toilet, saying "Papa, I want to pee this way." <br><br>
I said "but Mia, girls don't do that.  Girls sit down to pee." <br><br>
"Because my weenis is little?" (side note: my son, Tucker, who's also six, made up the word "weenis") <br><br>
"Well, sort of. Actually, it's called a 'penis', not a 'weenis,' and boys have one that goes out. Girls don't have penises -- their parts go in." <br><br>
"Mine goes in?" <br><br>
"Yup" <br><br>
"You parts go out like Tucker?" <br><br>
"Yup" <br><br>
"Mama parts go in like me?" <br><br>
"Yup. Mama sits down to pee, too." <br><br>
"Oh, OK."  (insert tinkling sound)<br><br>
Notice how I cleverly (and narrowly) avoided the word "vagina."  Not a bad word, but if you knew my daughter you'd understand why I don't want that particular word in her arsenal just yet.  <br><br>
I also couldn't help but recall the times I've stood in the bathroom line at concerts or ball games and watched grown women standing there at the urinal (because they were fed up with the long lines at the womens' bathroom).  That'll surely be my girl some day.<br></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2008-01-30T16:15:26-05:00" title="January 30, 2008 16:15">01/30/2008</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/5357/zoom">Zoom!</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">I love my new <a target="_zoom" href="http://www.zoom.co.jp/english/products/h4/">Zoom H4</a> portable digital recorder! I got one for Christmas recently (thanks, Santa), and it's awesome!<br><br>
I started by trying to set it up to use two inputs -- guitar and mic -- at home.  I thought I'd go all out, and run my vocals through my JoeMeek compressor and then through my ART Tube MP.  I also tried using the stereo output from my guitar (internal mic and split piezo), through my little Fishman mixer, and then into the Zoom.  After wrestling with it all and getting nothing but hum (the Tube MP, I think), and then realizing in the end that I was short one input to record the sound of my feet, I gave up and tried the built-in stereo mics on the Zoom itself.<br><br>
Oh MAN!  I'm very impressed with the sound, and it's SO easy.  I'm still tweaking the placement, and setup, but I've already recorded two demos, which I've posted (Talk and Consensus).  It's not pro quality, but it's pretty damned good for demos, I think.  <br><br>
I've also started recording my open mic performances.  I'll post one when I get one I'm happy with.  <br><br>
Oh -- and I've found that my performances recently have suffered because I'm not practicing with amplification.  It's just different to have the mains up and the monitors shouting at me.  Actually playing through my amp (I have a Crate Acoustic) is problematic because it's extra equipment to have out (and around two 6-year-olds), and it's just loud in the house, so I have to be pickier about when I play.  So I'm using my H4 to simulate playing on stage.  I just set it up, put it in record-enable mode, turn the volume up, and plug in the headphones.  That way I can hear myself through the headphones while I'm playing, much the same as if I had the house PA turned up.  I think it's really going to help my performances.  I'm even going to practice with a microphone in my face, just to get used to that, since I've found it makes a difference how I sit, physically, as well.   <br><br>
Incidentally, I'm experimenting with my physical setup for performances.  I don't like sitting on a tall stool, or standing, because I can't tap my feet and I don't like the way the guitar hangs on me.  A shorter stool lets me reach the floor, but the guitar doesn't sit in my lap the way I like.  I've tried sitting in a chair, and that works, but I don't like sitting so physically low on the stage (Chris Smither gets away with it, but that's him).  So I've started practicing at home with a short stool, but putting my right foot on the neck of my guitar case, which I set beside me.  I like this because it gets me up, but I can still tap my feet, and the guitar sits comfortably on my right leg.  Plus, I think I might even mic my feet once I get the rhythm down and figure out which shoes I plan to wear, because the guitar case makes a nice, consistent sound.  I've even thought of installing a built-in mic into my case (but that would work better if both my feet were on it when I played, and putting the guitar case right in front of me is really cumbersome on stage).<br><br>
(I wonder if Clapton when through all this...)<br><br>
Anyway, I love my new Zoom H4.</div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2008-01-14T04:19:57-05:00" title="January 14, 2008 04:19">01/14/2008</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/5356/when-i-grow-up">When I grow up</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">Inspired by a <a target="_WhenIGrowUp" href="http://video.crn.com/index.jsp?auto_band=x&amp;rf=sv&amp;fr_story=FRdamp236408">link</a> sent to me by a good friend (thanks, Jon), I wrote this in response...<br><br>
When I grow up, I want to be a software engineer. I want to sit in a cubicle all day with headphones on, dreaming up brilliant solutions to the wrong problems. I want to spend 90% of my time fixing my own mistakes, and the rest of the time complaining about everyone else's. I want to spend all day rebooting my computer repeatedly to try and work around a problem that's Microsoft's fault, only to be told by their tech support that my data is unrecoverable and I should have backed it up more frequently than once daily. I want to be told how to do my job by people who have never done it. I want to be asked to give a two-week estimate to a four-week task, and then be reprimanded when the job "slips" to three. I want to learn a new bit of trivial nonsense every day, I want 50% of what I know to become obsolete every six months, I want to completely re-invent myself every couple of years – and I want to do this while competing with people half my age who have no life outside of their job. I want to work on chaotic skunkworks that do produce real solutions to the right problems but get no respect. I want to work on behemoth projects with reams of paperwork per line of useless code. I want to work long unpaid hours because it's built into the schedule. I want to be consumed with minutiae, and yet responsible for the "big picture." I want to spend three days on a problem only to find out I had an "i" where I should have had an "I". I want to ship products, under pressure, with hundreds of documented flaws and hundreds more that are known but undocumented, and then I want to stand behind my work in front of the person who signs my check. I want to slam my forehead into a wall repeatedly.</div>
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</article>  <article class="post blog-article full-item post-full" data-controller="zoogle-video" data-action="message@window-&gt;zoogle-video#handleVimeoPostMessage">
    
<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/5355/guns">Guns</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">Whenever a gun control debate starts up, I feel uncomfortable. On the one extreme, there are those who would have no laws regarding guns. In fact, there are those who would blame violent crime not on the perpetrators, but on the victims -- for being unarmed. On the other hand, there are those who would jump at the chance to make all guns illegal, despite certain realities. <br><br>
Like most of us, I think, I'm in the middle somewhere. It seems completely absurd to make the most lethal of weapons easy to obtain. It seems completely reasonable to me to require permits and background checks and waiting periods before owning weapons. It also seems absurd in many cases to blame accidental deaths on the guns themselves -- or the industry that produces them. Although, I think the gun lobby in this country missed an opportunity to change its image in the past 8 years -- it should have been the strongest advocate for gun safety, rather than accepting its image as hard-nosed, shoot-'em-up, war lovers. I think a lot of people think that "responsible gun-owner" is an oxymoron, and that's a bad thing. Hell, if Phillip-Morris can change its image, then surely so can Smith &amp; Wesson. Furthermore, I think the argument of upholding the second amendment in order to fight back against the government is ridiculous -- unless you also advocate legally owning tanks and RPGs and Cruise Missiles. It's absurd. <br><br>
Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. The martial artist side of me wonders if we'd be safer overall in a world where guns didn't exist, but everyone carried hand weapons. The historian in me realizes that every time one side of a conflict is outgunned or outnumbered, the other side finds a way to change the rules, which always amounts to upping the antie. Hence, despite my idealized vision of a world of responsible owners of weapons and honorable rules of combat, I always seem to come back to a world where, in the end, fewer weapons is better, period. <br><br>
In reality, it seems that what we'll always have is a world where only a select few wield weapons, and the rest either admire them for it or despise them for it (or both).</div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2007-12-16T14:42:31-05:00" title="December 16, 2007 14:42">12/16/2007</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/5354/cod-liver-oil">Cod Liver Oil</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">My wife apparently grew up getting a teaspoon of cod liver oil every day, and she claims she was never sick.  So, maybe a year ago, she started the practice of feeding the stuff to our kids.  They're 5 and 6.  <br><br>
It used to be rather comical, actually, because she did it in the morning, but always forgot until I was waiting for the bus, outside, with my son (daughter was too young for the bus, still).  Linda would come running out in her fuzzy bathrobe with the bottle of "magic elixir" and a spoon.  Like I said, rather comical.  I wonder if anybody ever noticed that Tucker had "fish breath" every day.<br><br>
We've since transitioned to a nighttime dose instead, which gets around the bathrobe scene and the fish breath.<br><br>
Surprisingly, by the way, niether of the kids ever really minded. Still don't.  They sort of make a "yuck" face, but it's always in that fun sort of way that kids like to do when they're just naturally embracing things of a disgusting nature.<br><br>
Until one day, we ran out of cod liver oil.  Linda was overjoyed the next day (in a sad, nostalgic sort of way) that she actually found <em>flavored</em> cod liver oil!  She said she couldn't even find the regular stuff (which would be... fish-flavored, I guess).   So she bought two bottles -- one mint, one cherry.<br><br>
As it turns out, the kids hate it.  Oh, they're still going through the bottles now, because we won't waste it.  But they hate it more than the old standard.<br><br>
The moral of the story, I guess, is that some things just shouldn't be flavored.<br><br>
This now gets me thinking about whether or not I have other "cod liver oils" in my life; things that are probably good for you, but just plain yucky and ought to stay that way.</div>
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/5353/the-conversation">The Conversation</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">"What do you do for a living?" the woman behind the counter asked, begging me to reply... <br><br>
"What do you think I do for a living?" <br><br>
Pause. "Well, I was thinking that you look like an author." <br><br>
"Hmm. I've never gotten that one before." I hadn't. <br><br>
Another woman behind the counter, the one who had just taken my money for a Cheese Steak Hoagie and made up my mind for me about what to drink, chimed in her agreement with the other, apparently her boss. "See, that makes two people," the boss woman asserted. <br><br>
We proceeded to make some small talk about how I was actually an author of sorts – an author of software, that is. She played along politely, but that clearly wasn't what she had in mind. I'd been told many times in my life that I "don't look like a programmer," which I always took as a complement. I'd even been told often enough that I look like a musician, but then that was probably because I wore an earring and had long hair – not because I actually am, also, a musician. Today, I have no earring, and short (graying) hair. But, I digress...<br><br>
"It's probably the coat," I concluded, as I walked away to wait for my sandwich to be made. I was wearing a waist-length, burnt orange, corduroy, author-looking jacket.<br><br>
"Yes. And the turtleneck." <br><br>
And that was the end of that, until my number was called, and the cook said something about the "author" comment as well, so it started the whole thing over again. So I continued. <br><br>
"So what kind of stuff do you think I should write, being the author-looking type?" I asked the boss lady again. "I mean, do I look like the Stephen King type? That's probably pretty scary." <br><br>
"Actually Stephen King is a pretty regular guy in real life," she says, "so it wouldn't be such a bad thing." Tilting her head at the cook, though, she remarked "he likes true crime stories, so maybe he's biased." The cook nodded his agreement. <br><br>
For some reason in all of this, I found myself standing there filling two plastic cup things with ketchup while we talked. Lost in the ozone, I guess – I mean, why would I need ketchup with a cheese steak? So anyway, I took my sandwich, said my goodbyes, and promised to happily grant the cook's wish and give free copies of my novel to the folks behind the counter when I finally wrote it. <br><br>
My sandwich was pretty damned good, too. Five or six napkins. <br><br>
After lunch, I followed my feet towards the bookstore a block or two away (after all, where else would an author wander?). The owner was helping someone, and in passing she asked me if she could help me find anything. "You can help me find what I'm supposed to find," I replied playfully. But she was in a bit of a hurry. <br><br>
It didn't take long for her to recover, though. I hadn't even gotten past soaking up the layout of the store, and browsing the "Language" section half-interestedly (no German, no Russian), before I overheard her apologizing to the other gentleman in the store for not recognizing him. <br><br>
"I'm sorry, Tom – but I have that thing where I can't remember peoples' faces," she told him. Tom wasn't upset. <br><br>
"I can remember faces," he said, "but I can't remember names." <br><br>
At this point, I wandered closer to the checkout counter so that I could force myself into the conversation gracefully. "My issue is context," I said. "I can connect peoples' names and faces if they're doing the same thing, or are in the same role, as when I previously met them. Put them in a different context, and I'm lost." <br><br>
The storeowner nodded and smiled, no longer in a hurry. "And years from now," she said, "when we recall this conversation, we can just say 'the conversation', and all of this will come back to us." To which, we all nodded our agreement. But I can admit to you now that I didn't quite get it at the time. <br><br>
Somehow, the subject morphed, then, into how married people finish each other's thoughts. I told the story about how a long-ago, long-time roommate of mine (hello, Wayne) and I were once watching T.V. together, and at some point he stated absently, "Red. We should have done it in red." He was referring to a conversation that we'd had years before, and I was supposed to pick it up right then and there, right where we left off. I can't for the life of me remember the conversation now, but I do remember that I was, in fact, able to pick up right were we'd left off. Anyway, I connected this story with what we were saying in the bookstore by concluding that it was only really marriage if the thoughts are finished incorrectly, which got a laugh. <br><br>
It was at this point that I mentioned to the bookstore folks that I'd been taken (or mistaken) for an author a short while earlier, and I told them that I would, in fact, write that novel, and it would be titled "The Conversation," and we were all in it. <br><br>
Smiles and puzzled looks all around. So I finished with, "Well, I guess that's what I came in here for," and left, feeling quite pleased with myself. <br><br>
Later, as I was entering a note-to-self about the whole thing into my phone's notepad while walking back into my place of business, I mentioned to a curious coworker what I was doing, and told him that he was now in the novel, too. And, of course, he is. Hi, John. <br><br>
Note to self: don't forget the "It's worse than that" Appendix for John.  But that's another story.<br></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2007-12-05T16:24:04-05:00" title="December 05, 2007 16:24">12/05/2007</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/5352/on-lashings-and-action-figures">On lashings and action figures</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">I was just thinking this morning that it's a strange world where, in one part of it, a woman can be sentenced to a <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/11/teacher-faces-l.html">public lashing</a>* for allowing her students to name a Teddy bear after a child in their class (who just happens to be named Muhammed), while elsewhere it's OK to sell <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.mcphee.com/items/10746.html">Jesus action figures</a>.<br><br>
Furthermore, while the whole <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article2971369.ece">incident</a> has been resolved as a "misunderstanding," I wonder what the misunderstanding was about.  The defense is, after all, appealing.  Was the outrage because of the name alone? Was it because it was a bear (which is not seen as a  "cuddly symbol of mercy" in Islamic cultures)?  (Do they even have bears in the Sudan?) And what of the lashing? We seem to be taking this kind of punishment with a shrug of the shoulders.  What if Gillian Gibbons had actually personally named the bear after the prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him)? And what if it had been a pig instead?  Surely there would have been a beheading, no?  What if it had been a stuffed Lion, would she have been given a medal instead?<br><br>
...and, by the way, where are all the animal rights activists in all of this?  Isn't there a shred of compassion for the bear himself?  Doesn't anyone care about whether the bear is Muslim or not?  Does this all boil down to a case of stuffed-toy profiling? Am I the only one who sees the issues of religious freedom involved?  Clearly our priorities are way out of whack.<br><br>
* I take it back.  From the same <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article2971369.ece">timesonline link above</a>, it seems that it wouldn't have been a <em><strong>public</strong></em> lashing after all.  I quote:  "<em>Had Miss Gibbons been sentenced to a flogging, the sentence would have been carried out by a woman, not a man, and in a private room rather than in public. And, like the murderer pinned against the wall, it would have been carried out promptly."<br><br></em>Well, that's a relief.  I guess it's not as bad as I thought.<br><br>
Man, there's gotta be song in there somewhere.</div>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/5350/third-street-coffeehouse">Third Street Coffeehouse</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>I played two songs at the open mic at the <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://community.roanoke.com/main.wsi?group_id=25">Third Street Coffeehouse</a> in Roanoke (VA) last night for the second time, and had a great time.  Third Street is a completely granola place -- very supportive audience, and even pretty good pumpkin cheesecake on this particular night.  <strong>I'll be the featured performer on Friday, May 2, from 8:30-10:00</strong>.  I hope to see some friends there.   <br><br>
When I got home, I realized that I'd signed up for a lot of practice between now and then.  I spent the evening putting together a first draft of a set list (even though I had tons of other things I "should" have been doing).  I also went over the notes I took during <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.jesspillmore.com/presskit.html">Jess Pilmore</a>'s set that night, where I took queues from her very seasoned performance.  Hopefully, next time I play I'll even remember to unplug the guitar before walking off stage.<br><br>
Oh -- and my wife and I went to see <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.smither.com/">Chris Smither</a> play at <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.202market.net/">202 Market</a> in Roanoke on Wednesday.  He was in fine form.  I got his <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.smither.com/news.html">latest CD</a> (signed, of course).  During the break I told Chris that I was learning his song "<a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.soundflavor.com/track.php?trackId=2309474">Can't Shake These Blues</a>" from his <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/pages.html?cart=34055246485881867&amp;target=smp_detail.html%26sku%3DHL.641395&amp;s=pages-http%253A//www.google.com/search%253Fhl%253Den%2526rlz%253D1T4GZHZ_enUS241US241%2526q%253Dsmither%252Bvideo%252Binstructional&amp;e=/sheetmusic/detail/HL.641395.html&amp;t=&amp;k=&amp;r=wwws-err5">instructional video</a>.  He remarked "great! that's a hard one!", and proceeded to play it in his second set.. He told me after the show that he would have forgotten that tune if I hadn't mentioned it, so I guess it pays to open your mouth.  Thanks, also, to Adam, our server that night -- he was awesome.  Adam, if you're reading this, I hope you've found that voiceover work we talked about.   Perhaps I'll see you at <a target="_MikeSlinx" href="http://202market.net/events/index.php">your open mic</a> some day.</p></div>
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/5351/bandzoogle-rocks">Bandzoogle Rocks!</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>Well I'm impressed.  I've used web site builders in the past, and have been disappointed.  So far, this one really got it right.  I haven't yet bitten the bullet and actually <em>paid</em> for the thing (gasp!), but I'm on board so far.</p></div>
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